Estrogen-Influenced Tour Journal Entry 1

Sun, Oct 10, 2010

Filed in: News

disclaimer: yes, i tutored english students all through college. and yes, there are almost a million grammatical errors in this one entry. call me a rebel. haha…

since i’m the only chick on the road i’d figure i’d start journaling on here cuz A-my handwriting is scary B-our family and friends have asked for all the little details and i’m seriously forgetful so i have to write it as it’s happening….C-i want people to know what goes on behind the scenes, thoughts, fears, and generally the “reality” of the limelight…and D-i have this strange desire to rebel against creating a consistent blog. hahaha…

october 10,2010

soooo today, jordan’s driving and the boys are listening to the football game on AM radio…me n’ jonathan are in the next bench on our laptops like nerds, hahaha! i’m listening to my itunes, and we’re just rolling along back to nashville after 3 incredible shows!!!! last night blew my mind…we had so much fun, the students were soooo cool and MORE than helpful…i’d take them along on tour if we could…the people were crazy responsive and we comparatively had more banter on stage than any of our other shows… seeee what had HAPPENED wassss…

i thought we were on a different song so i started introducing it…jonathan got on the mic and was like “uh, actually we’re playing headlight in the sky”, so i replied “uuuhhh yeah y’all gave me the wrong set list”, and i told the audience to come up to me after the show and i’d present my evidence…big laughter from the crowd…we played headlight but i couldn’t find my stick to play that fish looking instrument so i was digging through my bag for like what seemed 3 minutes but jonathan kept playing the intro waiting for me…people still chuckling, and i finally gave up and tossed my fish , laughing and put my hands up in surrender and we started the song, everyone laughing harder…halfway through the song i stepped back on my stick that was behind me, picked it up and the fish and held it up in triumph to the audience which made people laugh even harder…hahahahaha it was such a variety show, o mylanta….THEN i realized my mistake about the set list and after we played headlight i said, “one of the best things i’ve learned in marriage is to always apologize when you’re wrong”, and i confessed my error and jonathan told them that’s why he wrote “she just is” for me and how the first line “she’s got a knack for forgetting…” was right on point.then i gave the audience a piece of advice and said “the two most important phrases in a marriage are “im sorry.” and “i love you”…so we made up on stage, just like johnny and june. tears.

the rest of the show was a blast and we stayed out in the lobby taking pics and signing until about 12.30…it’s exhausting but such a good kind of tired and i feel like it gives me a chance to say thank you for making us feel so loved and accepted…

one 12 year old girl came up with her dad and said she loved the show….her name is katie and she was super shy so u could tell she was a little unsure of herself…all that said, she told me she sings and i tried to encourage her and asked her what kind of music…she said pop and country…i asked her who her favorite voices of artists were and she said katy perry and someone else and i asked her a couple of times who that second person was until jordan leaned in and he said “she’s saying YOU, cass” …o my holy night. i almost started bawling, it was one of the most humbling yet encouraging moments musically cuz i just remember when i was her age, falling in love with the refuge of music and hoping to someday impact people in a good way like it had me…what an out of body experience…

so i told her my story about how my college voice teacher said i couldn’t ever have a strong voice cuz my vocal chords weren’t formed correctly,… so i told her people will tell you you’re crazy and to come back down to earth, and to get a “real” job… even if it’s out of love and concern– but if you have that passion and that feeling, no matter what it is, just keep listening to that voice and instinct and the people that DO encourage you because it will continue to increase your joy and inspire others to follow dreams…gosh i could go on and on cuz i talked to katie for about 30-45 minutes and was so captivated by her sparkling eyes and sweet disposition, seeing the hope and excitement of music within her…

it took one woman(my first voice teacher i studied with for over 7 years) to change my life in that way …her voice has been the one echoing in my head since the ACSI music festival in 8th grade when I sang ‘peace be still’, all the while shaking like a leaf, hahaha… After we finished and said goodbye to the judges I realized her eyes were wet from crying and I thought I did bad so I asked her what was wrong …she held my face in between her hands as her eyes welled up and simply said “you, my darling girl, have found your gift, and don’t ever forget that”.Just to know that one tiny-yet encouraging comment changed my course in life is so powerful. To be a vessel to encourage other musicians is one of the highest honors i would love to achieve someday…thank you, mrs. clare…can’t wait to see you and your new wings again someday…

anywhoooo, a long story to say, pure joy and awe has been running through my veins since we jumped off the edge and abandoned the safety of job security on September 1st… it’s been an interesting journey personally cuz i’m constantly stopping to question “why me?”…i don’t deserve this second chance…this grace…after all the mistakes i’ve made in my personal life, running away and hiding from my musical passions at times…still seeing so many shortcomings in my character, my voice, my musical calibre…just knowing i have such a long way to go…so i take a deep breath….exhale til there’s nothing left, inhale again, and savor the feeling…the freshness…the purity of taking in that second gulp of air, and remind myself without words, what this chapter in my life truly feels like…

with love. and plenty of estrogen…Cassandra

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2 Responses to “Estrogen-Influenced Tour Journal Entry 1”

  1. Chris Says:

    I was at the concert on the 9th. I have to admit that you guys almost showed up sarah. great job! i look forward to hearing and seeing more of you guys soon.

  2. Jean Thomas Says:

    You guys are the greatest. I love reading about where you have been and where you are going…and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the new album! Can’t wait to get you back here to New Pal (home for Tyler) soon…keep pouring out your hearts and doing what you do.

    Love You,


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